No Talking Please!

This is a little poem inspired by the chatty person I once saw in a public bathroom. It's happened more than once, so I decided to make a bit of a joke of it. You guys will appreciate this.

The urge it comes , you need to pee
To the bathroom you go with expediency
too proud to sit, we need to stand
So we prepare ourselves, junk in hand

There is a rule most men share
That when it's out of our underwear
For the entire time, yes the duration
We do not engage in conversation

Eyes straight ahead, no looking, don't gawk
When you are peeing, no time to talk
If we get distracted before the vein is drained
We might miss and our pants will get stained

But more importantly our pride is out
And I'll tell you without a doubt
That when it's exposed the LAST thing we seek
Is an opportunity to hear you speak

So remember when it's time to shake the snake
Respect your urinal neighbour, for goodness sake
It's not rude, mean or stuck up
Just please let me piss, and shut the fuck up!

Please be A Thinker and Use Your Blinker!

We All hate traffic offenders.  Here is a little something to set them straight!

I know traffic sucks
It can be a real stinker
But would it really kill you
to just use your blinker ?

It's a simple gesture
And an easy decision
that can make the difference
in avoiding that collision

it's rather rude to assume
that I know what you are doing
don't signal, and be sure
that my Lawyer and I will be suing

It's a simple little switch
it just goes up and down
flick it with your finger
to avoid looking like a clown

so if you fail this task
and our cars become impacted
all the money you have in the bank
Will soon have to be extracted

so do us a both a favor
don't ruin our day
Hit the switch to your left
and you won't have to pay